jellen johnsons

I'm not sure how many people are familiar with "Pacimals" but they're basically a stuffed animal with a Soothie pacifier on the top of the head. They're great because your baby can hold onto his binky easily and also cuddle with a variety of different stuffed animals!

Julian recently grew fairly attached to his "Fred the Frog" Pacimal and it quickly became our new go-to distraction toy in the morning when we were running around getting ready and he was hanging out in his swing, after work when we needed to get a few things done around the house, etc. It was so cute to see his attachment to this thing...that is until Sookie, our bulldog, took notice of it...

A couple nights ago I regret to inform you that "Fred the Frog" bit the dust courtesy of Sookie. Mom was not paying attention to her and thought she was chewing on one of her own toys, but apparently the whole time it was actually poor Fred. :( We have no idea where the top of his head went...kind of afraid Sookie might have actually eaten it!

Anyway, these things are kind of hard to track down. Luckily, we were able to snag the last one at Fat Brain-it's no Fred, but it's a friend of his "Dallas the Duck" (fitting as we used to live there!).

Anyway, it was a tense 24 hours in the Johnson household when Fred was gone but all is well with Dallas and Julian now...if anyone has any tips on how to help your dog distinguish baby toys vs. dog toys, feel free to let me know! ;)

The victim...

So happy he has another Pacimal to chew on!

(I started this a while ago and am finally finishing it!)

How do I even begin this? I am sure I've already forgotten some details, unfortunately, but here goes!

By the time I was almost 40 weeks and at my last doctor's appointment, we decided that if I didn't go into labor before my due date, then I would come in to get induced. Keep in mind I have always thought that I was actually a week ahead of what the doctor said and at this point, it really looked like I was at least one or two weeks off!

So the plan was to come into the hospital on Sunday, December 9th to get the medicine to start the process by softening my cervix and hopefully getting a good night's sleep until the pitocin drip started the following morning. Well, Mr. J had other plans!

Saturday night Josh and I were hanging out, excited about the next day and counting down the hours until we could check into the hospital on Sunday evening. (what do you even do with that much time before the biggest moment of your lives?!) Around 8 pm I started to notice my contractions (although not that strong or painful yet) were starting to happen every 5 minutes. I waited a couple of hours to be sure they were really 5 minutes apart for at least one hour and then called my doctor. Since it was a Saturday night, I got the nurse help line and as I was talking to her I felt like I might have peed a little (sorry, this story will have a lot of TMI I'm sure...) but thought it could be my water breaking so she said to just come in and we'd have it checked.

Since we knew we had some time and this was the early stages of labor, we took about an hour to make sure we had everything we needed and ran around the house not really believing this was it! We checked into the hospital around midnight and the nurse tested for amniotic fluid leaking and sure enough, my water had just started to break! They have to hold you overnight once that happens so they got my IV ready and gave me something to help me sleep a little...too bad it didn't work! I was so anxious/excited I fought against the sleeping meds and basically did not get any sleep that night! haha! Poor Josh :)

I guess before that I should mention that the nurse told me that my doctor wasn't on call this weekend (I later found out she was out of town at a funeral) and that the doctor who was on call was going to start me on a slow pitocin drip at around 4 AM. Well 4 AM came around and they started the drip...I could tell my contractions were getting a little more intense, but nothing horrible (yet!). I was thinking, "Wow, maybe this won't be so bad afterall?" HAHA! Josh and I did laps until around 10 AM a new doctor was on call (who later turned out to be my new favorite and I am switching to her the next time we have a baby!) came to my room and checked me out. I still wasn't progressing much so she decided on the spot (and very casually) to break my water. Not to scare anyone...but this was extremely painful! I think it depends on how the baby is positioned because I've heard from some people that they couldn't even feel it and others felt it as much as I did! My good friend tried telling me it didn't hurt and later on apologized because she didn't want me to be scared but really, it was not pleasant for her either! :)

Well, as soon as my water broke, things got real. First of all, it was a huge gush of fluid-I didn't realize it would really happen like that? I'm kind of glad it happened in the hospital and not somewhere random like the middle of a store or at WORK! Phew! Anyway, once that happened, my contractions started getting REALLY painful and strong. The doctor told me to keep doing laps for as long as I could before getting the epidural. I lasted about 45 minutes before I asked for one. The pain was unlike any I'd ever felt and honestly, really hard to describe. The anesthesiologist came within 30 minutes (I think?) of me requesting it and THANK THE LORD! I cannot recommend getting one enough! It seriously cut down on all of the pain and from then on, I just felt strong pressure during my contractions.

The doctor kept checking on me each hour and I was progressing nicely but eventually stopped at 9 cm. We tried everything to get me to 10-you should have seen some of the positions I was in to try to help move things along! This all started around 11 am-noon and really felt like a lifetime. Julian's head was very low-she could feel it (and told us he had a lot of hair!!) but for some reason (small hips-who knows?) he couldn't get through. At around 5 pm they noticed that Julian and I both had a low grade temp which could be a sign of distress and/or infection (probably because my water had started leaking the night before around 11 pm). The doctor and nurses decided to prep me for a C-Section. I was terrified but knew it was something that had to be done. I felt so horrible at the time that I wasn't able to progress "normally" but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how we come into this world. What matters is getting mom and baby through everything safely together.

I was terrified when they wheeled me into the OR and had a mini-panic attack as they were prepping me. My new favorite doctor told me I needed to stop it and relax! HA! I just tried ignoring what was going on as they prepped me and remember trying to just look at Josh and think about finally meeting our baby boy! They put up a sheet so we couldn't see what was going on (my request-some people choose to see all of this but no thank you) I could feel intense tugging and pulling for about 10 minutes (his head was stuck) and kept hearing long beeps coming from the machines I was hooked up to which worried me, but my doctor basically told me to shut up and quit worrying (again). I actually didn't mind because it snapped me out of my panic mode. The magical moment finally arrived where they pulled him out and held him up for us to see! Words can't even begin to describe the feeling. Of course, I was exhausted but I got that crazy rush of adrenaline that only a new parent can explain. I've used the term "surreal" a lot to describe what my pregnancy was like, but it's the only word I can think of that can really describe the feeling of seeing your little person for the very first time. I just kept thinking, "he's perfect." And he is. The only downside to a C-section is I couldn't hold him right away but eventually I did for the first time and I immediately fell in love with our baby boy. It felt like we already knew each other.

Fast-forward to the present...time has really flown by fast-Julian is almost 4 months! It seems like he is doing something new and different every couple of days. He's a big boy-almost 16 lbs! He LOVES to smile, is very laid back and calm but at the same time has a HUGE personality. A lot of people think he looks more like his daddy and I agree to some extent. But I do see a lot of myself in him as well. I think he's a great combination of the two of us-he looks like Julian, I like to say. :)

Josh and I are beyond blessed to have a happy, healthy baby boy. Every day with him is a gift and I feel like our lives have taken on a whole different meaning now that he's here. He brings us so much joy. Being a parent is a lot of work, and we're still learning every day, but it's the most exciting and fulfilling part of our lives. We love him so much.

Here are some birthday pics! (posting these now is so strange-he looks SO TINY! How has 4 months gone by so fast?!)